The older I’m getting the more I realize how hard it is to find solid Christian friends who truly stick with you through the thick and thin. From a young age, I made two really good friends and played with them most of my childhood. As I got older, both of those girls and I went in separate directions and never really saw each other often enough to stay close. I was pretty introverted as a young girl, so I didn’t mind having one friend, staying at home, and playing with my neighbors.
Fast forward to the fall of 2017. I was thirteen years old and I had met some really good friends but after a short time, both of them moved far away. I felt lonely and didn’t know who to run to. Growing up in a Christian family, I always heard people say, "run to God," so I figured I would give it a shot. I’m so glad I did because that was probably the rawest moment of my life with the Lord. I had no good friends and felt like that awkward girl everywhere I went. I prayed and prayed and begged God to give me a friend. Instead, He taught me how to be a friend, which isn’t easy. I was so desperate for friends, that I made very quick friendships with people that were not true friends, and once that person did one thing that made me upset, I ditched them. I was only in the relationship to be happy and to be content.
Let me tell you, sister, you will never be content with any friendship. Only God can satisfy.
Don’t go friends shopping like I did. It will only hurt you to make short friendships that aren’t meaningful. I do believe that sometimes we meet sweet friends, but they just aren’t for us at certain times in our lives. I know I made some really sweet friends, but our friendship just wasn’t met to be at that season. So, as I have quickly gone over my friendship history, you can see that I love friendships, but they are SO HARD! Today, I want to share some things I have found helpful while trying to make good friends and how to be a good friend.
Helpful Hints
Finding friends:
1: Find people who are truly in love with Jesus and have a passion for Him. I had friends who said they were Christians but they never encouraged me in my walk with Jesus or lived it out. So make sure they are living out their faith.
2: Find someone who you can truly feel comfortable around. Don’t find a friend that you feel like you have to act fake and always be perfect; Learn from me, that won't last.
3: Find someone who is open and honest. Someone who is trustworthy, and who can understand hurt, and yet, still be there for you!
Those are a few ideas you may want to keep in mind while trying to find a friend.
I would also examine the friends you have now and see if those things apply. If you want to grow your relationship with the Lord, it is SO important that you have friends that encourage you to do that. Otherwise, they can lead you astray.
Keep God first; Even in your friendships.
I would also examine the friends you have now and see if those things apply. If you want to grow your relationship with the Lord, it is SO important that you have friends that encourage you to do that. Otherwise, they could lead you astray.
Strive for progression, not perfection!
Helpful Hints
Being a good friend:
1: Communicate with your friend about everything! This isn't a fun job, but to keep your friendship healthy, you must bring the hard stuff to your friend. I would recommend taking whatever you want to communicate to the Lord before you take it to your friend. He will give you the right words and the wisdom on how to communicate.
2: DO NOT GOSSIP! I can’t stress this enough. Friendships can feel like a safe spot to gossip but don’t! You can ruin a friendship with gossip. It’s so dangerous.
3: Make time for your friendships. Plan time when you can sit down and listen to your friend. Whether that’s face time, meeting up for coffee, or just doing something fun. Make time for your friend!
4. Don't assume. Often time, if you're like me, you will find yourself assuming that your friend thinks something bad about you. But, have you gone directly to your friend and asked if that's what they think? We tend to blow things way out of proportion and forget to just go directly to our friend and ask them.
I know that these are hard to apply to your life, but when you do, you WILL see changes in your friendships. Having friendships that truly last are so worth the time and effort you put into them at the beginning. Don't give up. Some days it's gonna feel like you can't be a friend anymore, but those are the days you need to press harder. Let me leave you with this encouragement:
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9
When you can make wonderful, sweet friends it is truly is rewarding! With God's goodness, He will give you the strength to go and make the best friends ever!
Love,
Hannah
This is by far my favorite blog!! 😂 Keep up the good work.